A DONNER SUMMIT CHRISTMAS CAROL* 

Stave 1: DEVELOPER'S GHOST

'Twas the eve of Christmas, 

A night dark and fell,

Three developers stood huddled, 

Wrapped up 'gainst the chill.

On the bleak threshold 

Of the icy old Lodge 

They gazed at the doorknocker, 

And this thought couldn't dodge-- 

The brass knocker on the door 

Of the ratty old dump 

Bore an eerie resemblance 

To their friend Donald Trump**. 

Its eyes were all bleary 

Its mouth just a smirk 

As it said," hail my old buddies 

Todd, Mark, and Kirk***." 

"I hear that you're planning 

Royal Gorge's riches to squander 

So some spirits I know will visit tonight 

And give you something to ponder." 

Todd, Mark, and Kirk scrambled 

And rushed into Ice Inn 

They headed straight to the bar 

For spirits of vodka and gin. 

They tried to ignore 

The lights' constant dim and flicker-- 

They couldn't have gotten 

To their rooms any quicker 

The sounds from the cellar 

The creaks on the stairs 

Had this trio of developers 

Saying their prayers. 

But tho' they're soundly tucked in 

Heads hidden under the covers 

A spirit,entering in a shower of snow 

Over them shimmers and hovers.

__________

*Standard Disclaimer-this is all the Dickens of a dream, and there is no intention to represent any persons alive or dead. If you oppose out of control development on Donner Summit, please make your feelings known to the Placer County Planning Department and Board of Supervisors. 

**Not the real Donald Trump

***Not the Todd Foster, Mark Foster, and Kirk Syme, who propose to build over 900 units on the stellar and pristine Royal Gorge Cross Country Ski Resort 

Stave 2: THE GHOST OF ROYAL GORGE PAST 

Three developers cowered, 

Did Todd, Mark, and Kirk,* 

Then they jumped from their beds 

As if going berserk 

"What spirit art thou, 

Who disturbs our night's slumber?" 

"I'm Royal Gorge's past-- 

Could you guys get any dumber? 

"There once was a day 

Way back in your youth 

You loved Cross Country Skiing.

So I'm here to show you the truth.

"Remember the days 

When you skied on the snow

Of Royal Gorge's trails 

Happy, merry, and aglow 

With the knowledge 

You'd bought the world's best resort?" 

"But we need to make money" 

Was the developer's retort. 

"If you cover it with condos 

You'll find to your sorrow 

That no one will show up 

In years of tomorrow.

What once was a golden place, 

The pride of the crest, 

Will be but a subdivision 

As grim as the rest.

"Don't destroy this treasure 

You hold in your hands. 

Go back to the drawing board 

And please change your plans.

"Now the next spirit 

Arrives ere long 

Someone else who will show you 

Where you're going wrong." 

So saying, the spirit faded 

Right through the ceiling 

Leaving the developers shuddering, 

Shaking and reeling.

__________

*No, not the real Todd, Mark and Kirk. Life's a fantasy at Christmas on Donner Summit.

Stave 3: THE GHOST OF SERENE LAKES PRESENT 

The flustered developers* dashed out on the deck,

One thought in their minds-- the need to decamp.

When slishing and sloshing arrived a dual spirit 

Chilly, and drippy, and, well, rather damp. 

"We're twins Dulzura and Serena, 

The two little lakes,

With big things to tell you,

For all of our sakes.

"We're not muddy ponds,

You can dredge and drain, 

Your plans for development 

Will be our bane.

"Your raising the dam,

Would cause the shores' ruination.

Please put our fish and our wildlife 

into your financial equation. 

"These lakes-- you don't own them,

Despite what you think.

They need saved for our future, 

So pull back from the brink,

"Of growth and destruction 

You have planned for the Summit.

And if you don't heed us 

Your fortunes will plummet." 

The twin lake spirit then 

flowed down to the beach 

saying, "Please, oh developers, 

of you we beseech,

The next spirit who visits,

No matter how woeful,

If you don't give him credence,

Your future looks doleful" 

Back inside they stumbled, 

Did Todd, Mark, and Kirk** 

Looked around them fearfully, 

And shut the door with a jerk. 

__________

*Imaginary flustered developers. Serene Lakes is full of them. 

**These are generic Todd, Mark, and Kirk-not the ones trying use Serene Lakes to slake the thirst of their humungous proposed development. 

Stave 4: THE GHOST OF THE WALL STREET BEAR FUTURE 

The three shivering developers,

Then stepped away from the door,

Right into the embrace of 

A giant black bear in full roar. 

Oh then the developers, 

Kirk, Todd, and Mark,* 

Ran around in true terror,

Their future looked stark. 

"Calm Down," rasped the bear, 

"I've come from Wall Street 

To give you some counsel. 

On the job, I don't eat

"Tho those hedge fund managers,

Were a nice crunchy treat... 

I'm strictly here to advise you,

You face certain defeat.

"Your big business plans 

Didn't take into account,

All the mountainous obstacles,

You have to surmount. 

"The lakes don't have enough water.

The banks won't lend you dough.

To get a new sewer plant,

You'd need bundles to blow. 

"The locals dislike you,

To them you're not nice guys.

'Cause all that you tell them, 

Well, they think most of it's lies. 

"So, no one will grieve,

If your big plans fall short.

They'll cheer on the judge,

If you end in bankruptcy court. 

"Really, boys, you should reconsider 

Your plans, and say some prayers,

So you don't end up with your lawyers,

On the Placer County courthouse stairs. 

"Sleep on what I've told you, 

And ponder it well,

Lest you end up in some version,

Of developer's hell." 

The bear picked up his briefcase, 

And left, with visage so stern.

The developers crept up to bed,

Where they tossed and they turned. 

__________

*Yes, you know these Kirks,Todds, and Marks are figments of imagination brought on by too much wassail. 

Stave 5: CHRISTMAS DAY IN THE MORNING 

Christmas morn dawned on the Summit,

Crisp, bright and fair.

The developers sprang from their beds, 

And heeding advice from the bear 

And other nighttime spirits, 

Said, "Golly, they've won, 

We see their point of view, 

And now we like everyone! 

"We'll clean up the old lodge 

And throw a big bash.

We'll invite all the locals--

They won't need to bring cash. 

"No more standing astride 

Our eroding Sand Hill.

We want to make friends 

We need genuine good will! 

"We won't build so much,

That was truly insane.

Our visions of Summit-wide grandeur,

Are beginning to wane. 

"We'll design what we're building 

To preserve all the trails.

We'll talk to our planners 

And work out the details. 

"We don't need so much land,

No more empire lust,

The lakes, trees, and meadows 

Can be owned by a trust. 

"We won't fill the South Yuba,

With rivers of effluent,

To think that we planned that,

Is truly repugnant." 

So said the developers,

Said Todd, Mark, and Kirk.* 

They rolled up their sleeves 

And got straight to their work. 

The Summit's now even more gorgeous,

So much was saved.

To think that 'til that Christmas 

It was all going to be paved. 

__________ 

*Again, not that Todd, Mark, and Kirk, but the Holiday Season is for dreams. Hope yours is lovely.